I am slowly getting back

I can't believe that it has already been 3 weeks since Reagan was born. It has been a rough couple of weeks for us both. When we left the hospital her jaundice level was 8.5 and we went in for her check up two days later and it was already up to a 19.5. So we were told just to the sun by the window when she is sleeping and come back on Monday for a recheck. We went back on Monday and had her foot stuck again (we are up to 3) and she can not get the machine to read it so she sends us over to the hospital to have the test done again (#4) and she is stuck again by this time her keels are bruised. We get the results and it is a 21 so they want to see us back again the next day. So Tuesday we are back at the doctors and I get stuck with the same nurse as the day before and she sticks her again (5) and can not read the results so she tells us that we have to go back to the hospital and have them do the test again. Sean was with me this time and I am glad he was because I started to get into it with this nurse. I am already hormonal after giving birth I have not had time to rest at all or recover and they keep sticking my baby's keel and she screams every time they do. I tried to tell her to wait a day and let her have a break but she kept going off that it is probably off the chart and that she was getting frustrated with this and we needed to go back to the hospital (6). So off we go and I am in tears the whole way. So we go and get the results and it is a 18.5. Which it had gone down but she did not think that was good enough so we had the light brought to our house. I felt so awful every time I had to but her in it because you have to put this band over her eyes and it really looks like I am being cruel. And then of course she screams and that makes me feel worse. Well we were told that we had to go back to the hospital again on Wednesday and not to the doctors so she will only get stuck once that day. And the result came back and it was a 16.4 and so we finally got the jaundice under control and it was coming down!!!!!!!! She is now as of a week ago 7lbs 6 oz. we have not gotten back to our birth weight yet but she has been gaining weight since we dropped from 7lbs 14oz. to 7lbs 2oz. So now that she is finally doing better I can now work on myself in trying to recover which has not be easy. The what you call "blues" with this one have been harder then any other pregnancy I have had. It is getting alot better now. I will post new pics soon as I get them off my camera.